Damaged
by Avery Anderson
Summary: Everyone she ever loved has left her. She's damaged. Will she be able to get over her fears and let soemone into her life again? Will she finally be able to love someone again? One shot. Please review.


When he entered the room he saw her typing away furiously on the computer. He entered in what he thought was a stealthy manner. But no, she heard him. She always did, it was like she had a special radar that detected him where ever he was.

"What's your damage!?" She asked enraged.

"What? My damage? You're the crazy one." He accused.

"This is all your fault. None of this should be going on." Her voice trembled a bit as she voiced her opinion. "You can't be doing this."

"Leah, you don't think I know what I should and shouldn't be doing? I am perfectly aware of the situation. Trust me on this one."

"No Jake. I can't. I can't and I won't." Her voice was shrill. "This can't be happening." Her voice was now no more than a whisper.

* * *

I heard a tap at my window... or I thought I did. There it was again. It sounded like a pebble being thrown against my window. What the hell? It's fucking four in the morning! I rushed to the window. What I saw surprised me. A large russet skin man climbing my tree. Sam? He was the only one who had ever done that. I closed my eyes bracing myself for our meeting. Why was he doing this? I barely managed to get away from him. It has only been 9 months since I joined Jake's pack. I took a couple steps back. I heard the window slide open. I held back a gasp. I wasn't ready for this. I could hear his steps as he came closer. I felt his hot heavy breath against my skin. His breathing was deep and steady, polar opposite of mine. My breaht came out in sharp uneven puffs. Lord help me please, and yes I do feel bad that I only pray when I'm in trouble or really need Him. We stood there for a few minutes, Sam waiting for me to open my eyes and me waiting for him to say something.

"Good Morning sleepy head."

With out thinking I swing hand that was already in a fist towards Jacobs face. How dare he wake me up at four in the freaking morning! I was satisfied at the crunch I heard.

"Ouch Lee, that one hurt... emotionally as well as physically" I opened my eyes to see him putting his nose back in place. I smirked. I hadn't gotten Jacob good since I first transformed. I was very proud of myself.

"I'm so sorry all mighty alpha! How can I ever make it up to you!?" I said to him, my voice full of sarcasm.

"Well...I was thinking that you and I could go watch the sunrise..."

"What!? You woke me up on my first day off from having patrol for a whole straight week, at four a.m. to ask me to watch the sun rise? " He nodded his head slowly. "Jake! I've seen the sun rise every day for the past week!" My voice went up a couple of octaves.

"I know you've seen it up have you actually _seen_ and enjoyed it? Ever?"

I shook my head no. I have never willingly and peacefully seen the sun rise. "Just let me sleep Jake." I started walking towards my bed when I felt a firm, yet gentle grasp on my arm.

"Lee...please? Come on."

"NO!" I screamed. I just wanted to sleep.

"Hush, you're going to wake your mom up." He brought his finger to my lips.

"Sue's not here. She's at Charlies place to night."

"Oh... please Leah? Just 30 for minutes. Please?" His voice was soft and gentle. If I didn't know any better I would swear he was begging.

I groaned and pulled out of his grasp and started towards my bed again and then I saw it. The hurt. The hurt and disappointment in his eyes. I don't know whether it was to guilt me or because he really felt that way. I also don't know why I grabbed the t-shit that was at the foot of my bed and pulled it on over my thin, almost see through pajamas. I walked towards Jacob again. I stood in front of him, he was so much taller than me, I hadn't really grown vertically as much as the boys. I looked up into his eyes making sure he knew I did not enjoy his disturbing my sleep.

"Where to?" I asked annoyed.

"You'll see." With that he jumped out the window. I followed suit. I wanted to show off a bit so I grabbed the tree branch prepared to launch myself into the night sky, somersaulting before landing.

CRACK.

The branch broke. Being Air Born + Tired Leah = Hard Bone Crunching Fall.

He caught me. I was more grateful than I should have been. It would have only been a couple of broken bones but still, they're a pain to wait for to heal. He had me cradled in his arms like he might do to a baby. I felt so small and helpless. I felt cared for and protected. _Fucker. _I don't need protection.

* * *

"Race you to Vancouver Leah!?"

She nodded her head like an eager three year old girl that had just been offered a cookie. She took of running. She started to take her top off. She was more comfortable now with the pack seeing her transform. Usually she would have gone off and hidden.

"Hey no fair cheater. No head starts!" I threw my head back and laughed. She would beat me head start or not.

_Like it even matters whether I get a head start or not. You know I'll beat your sorry ass._ She was right.

_Oh come on Lee, can't you let your Alpha win just once? Being beat in a race by my female Beta isn't very good for my image._

_Well maybe if you ran track in school or any other sports you might have long, strong slender legs like I do_. I heard her laughing out loud. She didn't approve of my lack of interest in actually playing any sport.

_No I think you were just born with those sexy strong legs._ I heard her laughing stop.

_Yeah maybe..._

That was the first time I beat Leah in a race, the first time anyone had beaten Leah in a race.

* * *

"Hey wanna go to the park?"

"The park?" What the heck Jake!? The park is for 6 year olds."

"Yeah Ness and her friend are going. They need some chaperoning and I need some company."

"Are you sure they are the ones who need a chaperon?" I laughed, Jake could be such a kid some times.

"Uhmm... well... maybe you could be my chaperon?" He stepped closer to me looking at me with those big round puppy dog eyes that made him look like a small child.

"Geez Jake grow up." I pushed him away playfully and giggled. I Leah Clearwater giggled! Because of Jacob Black no less. He continued to look at me with those beautiful big eyes. "Fine, I'll go. Just don't look at me like that again. It's not fair for you to use those big beautiful orbs to manipulate people."

"Big beautiful orbs, huh?" He pushed into me playfully with his shoulder as we walked out the door towards the Cullen residence. I sighed. I just realised I would have to spend the afternoon with Jake and Nessie. I don't know why I agreed, they would be all imprint-y. I sighed again. They would just remind me how I had no one in my life. Jake looked at me questioningly, worried. I just shook my head. Note to self, don't sigh around Jake anymore.

I was surprised to see little 18 month old Renesmee and her 10 year old male human friend. She had grown up so fast. Next thing you know she'll be graduating high school. They were chatting away animatedly and didn't even notice us. Jake had to clear his throat to get their attention.

"Ready Nessie?"

"Yep" She picked up a little basket and began skipping towards the Volvo. I got in the passenger seat. The little boy was staring at me. Maybe I should have worn more clothes. We arrived at the park, a simple park with a swing set, a slide, a half court, monkey bars and a spider-web and lots of green grass. Jake and I sat on the little brown, worn bench, it seemed like it might collapse under our weight at any moment. Jacob was about to say something after anout minutes of awkward silence

"Jakie push me!" Nessie screamed from her seat on the swing. "Johnny can't push me that high!"

"Coming Ness." He got up from his seat in what I had imagined to be rather reluctantly.

I got up and followed. I just stood awkwardly by one of the poles of the base of the swing. I saw how much Nessie enjoyed being pushed up high by Jake. I remember how my daddy use to push me so high up I felt I could touch the sky. I looked down at my shoes just standing there while Johnny and Nessie swung high on the swings. I saw a large russet hand reach towards me, he held it there and offering. I put my hand in his and he led me towards the last swing. I just looked at him. Questioning his motives. He gestured towards the seat of the swing. I just continued looking at him. I heard a growl come from his throat. He picked me up. I kicked and screamed in protest, but he didn't seem to pat attention he just ploped me down on the seat. He pulled back the swing back far and let go. My screams turned into shrieks of joy as I felt the wind whip through my hair that I had worked so hard to grow out. It felt so good against my face. I forgot how good it felt to be on a swing, it was almost as good as running, I felt free. He continued on pushing me, it felt so good I didn't have to work my legs, I felt like I could touch the sky.

His pushes became softer. The kids had left and picked out a spot on the grass to have picnic. I looked back to get a glimpse of Jacob. He was smiling I smiled back. I started to swing my legs. He stopped pushing me, I looked back once more to see the reason why had stopped but I couldn't see him. I panicked for a second. Where was he?

'I'm here." He said. He was on another swing next to mine.

"Oh hey. I thought you left me."

"No. I'm still here. Why would I leave you?" He looked confused.

"Well Nessies here...I thought you might want to be with her."

"Oh" He was silent for a couple of seconds. "I invited you didn't I? I wouldn't leave you. And I think Ness wants alone time with her boyfriend Johnathan." He shuddered as he said the last part.

"Oh" Was all I had to say. So Ness had a boyfriend? What was she thinking? What where her parents thinking? Do they know?

Silence and then; "I like your hair like that. It makes you look even more beautiful."

* * *

She was sitting alone. In the corner of her room with her legs pulled to her chest resting her forehead on her knees. It was her first day off patrol. I thought we could watch the sun rise again like we did so long, I really enjoyed her company and the light made her even more beautiful. She didn't hear me throw the pebbles so I just climbed up the tree and let myself in she didn't even hear me open the window. Something was wrong. She always knew when I was there. She sniffled. She was crying. I rushed to her side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders she stiffened but then relaxed when she knew it was just me. She continued sitting there legs pulled to her chest then she lost it. She was bawling, I wasn't sure what to do. Surely Leah wouldn't want me here, he hates showing weakness in any way shape or form. I pulled her closer. She tried to pull back for a second but then thought against it. She wrapped her arms around me and hid her face in the crook of my neck and snuggled closer. I pulled her onto my lap and just held her making sure she knew I was there for her. I just wanted all her pain and sadness to go away. I rubbed her back slowly and softly and ran my fingers through her silky hair that she had worked so hard to grow out. Her loud angry sobs became quieter and her breathing more even.

"I miss him so much Jake." She whispered. Missed who Lee? Of course I couldn't ask it was her business, she would tell me if she felt like it.

"I can't believe he just left me like that!" Who?

'It's not fair. That stuff shouldn't happen. He was just ripped away from me like nothing. It's not fair!!" She was in hysterics now.

Was she still upset about the whole Sam thing? I though she was getting better. I maybe she had just learned to control her thoughts when she transformed. I knew how much it hurt to have some one just ripped from you. I felt her pain.

"Shh Sweetie. You'll wake Sue up"

She let out a scream and tightened her hold on me.

"Don't say that bitches name." She snapped out of my hold. I had never heard her talk about her mother like that.

"Dad barely passed away and she's already screwing other guys. Charlie as a matter of fact! Daddy's best friend! It's not fair! She gets to continue her life like nothing happened like Daddy just wasn't ripped away from her like he was to me. Like he never exsited. Like he never mattered. While I just have to sit here and watch her leave to go fuck Charlie _and_ she still has the balls to deny that anything is going on." She was very angry now. Furious. It wasn't Sam that she missed it her _daddy_.

"Look, I'm sure she misses him as much as you d..." She cut me off.

"No!" She stood up. "She could never miss him as much as I do. She doesn't love him as much as I do. She just goes around..." This time I cut her off. I stood up and clamped her lips with my fingers.

"Listen to me Lee Lee. She's not as tough as you. She can't hide how much she missed Harry like you do. She has to vent her feelings some other way."

"No! Shut up you don't know anything!" She accused. I was shocked. If anyone knew anything about missing as loved one it was me. I grabbed her tiny waist and pulled her into me. I could feel every curve of her body pressed against me.

"Listen to me Leah. You are going to get over the whole Charlie situation. You are going to apologize to your mother for thinking such horrible things of her." She started to back away. I let her, I didn't want her to think I was some abusive psychopath. "You are going to have some family bonding time, especially with Seth." If only Set got to see the side of Leah I have been seeing he'd go crazy with joy. He missed her a lot. I got closer to her once again and held her close to my body again. "You understand?"

She just hid her face in my my chest. I grabbed her chin and made her look at me, forcing eye contact with her. She was crying again. "Do you understand me Leah?"

She nodded her head timidly.

I couldn't help what I did next. Her lips were just do pink and pouty. Just perfect. Just perfect, Leah was perfect.

* * *

"Why? Why not Lee Lee? Why can't this be happening?"

"Don't call me that! Don't call me that, ever!"

"Why not, I love you Lee Lee."

"No! No you don't! Don't say can't love me. You don't!" She seemed angry.

"Why Leah, why can't I love you?"

"Because you shouldn't" Yeah, that makes lots of sense.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because...Because of Nessie. You love her."

"Nessie is a big girl and doesn't want me in that way" He had some hurt behind his voice but he shook it off. "I don't think that's your reason Lee Lee. There's some thing else. Don't deny it, I know you too well, now, tell me whats wrong. He gently cupped her face in his hands and tilted her chin up. "Tell me."

"I...You....You can't love me because every one who does ends up leaving me first Sam then Daddy and Seth and Mom and then next t-"

For the second time that day he crushed his lips against hers and for the first time that day she kissed him back.


End file.
